I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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