They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
