Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
