WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
