We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
