Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
