So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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