yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Im part way to drunk.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
