I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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