You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
