Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
