I hate your face
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
