the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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