how can u be prego again
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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