do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize