I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
