I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize