i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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