he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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