Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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