It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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