Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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