dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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