if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
