I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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