OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
