Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
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Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
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I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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