The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
