You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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