You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
