My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
