bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
