I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
