I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
