there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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