i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
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literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
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if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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