drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
