her vagine was all disorganized.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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