This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
