it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
