she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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