Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
