Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
