I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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