Umm I'm too high to move.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
