I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
wow bdsm is so cute
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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