I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
