also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
