I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
