Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
