i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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