sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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