I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
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I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
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Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.