Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail