East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
