Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
