Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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