no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
