Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
