well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
