And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
