You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
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Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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