We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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