I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
