Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
