he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
