so that wasnt chicken after all
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
