also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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