I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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