i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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