Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
party gras won. party gras always wins.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
