I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
